When I was about four years old I had a Bontempi piano. It was a four year old's size, of course, keys that covered about an octave and a half, very plastic, and to my very slight annoyance had no stool on which to sit to play it. It was under the window in my bedroom, a house built in 1900 and named as all the semis in our road were (still are), after a Crimean war battle or regiment. I can still see how the Summer light came through that window ; the red patterned carpet ; those dandelion flowers that we used to call fairies floating around my room.
But I digress.
The only - and I mean, the only - tune I could play on my beloved Bontempi was The Carpenters' Close To You.
In the 70s there was a fair amount of so-called Middle of the Road music , easy listening. Deeply un-cool (before people started saying Cool).
By 1979 I had discovered The Boomtown Rats, Squeeze, The Police, Blondie. I heard 'Making Plans For Nigel' and music changed for me. 'Easy Listening' was now complete anathema to me - given I had 'discovered' what I then called 'alternative' music (don't know if anyone else called it that ...)
Anyway, fast forward and many years later Hubby and I, having weathered a difficult year or two together, and somehow both being as lame as each other in the nicest possible sense, I noticed that Burt Bacharach was touring the UK in the Summer. Couldn't afford the premium tickets but booked two up in the Gods anyway.
Hubby has long been a fan of what is known as library music. If you ever saw the Test Card as a kid back in the day, that's what you heard accompanying it. And Burt was sort of part of the deal. So when I realised we could go and see him, well, I couldn't help but book it for us.
Anyway, the day finally came; a steaming hot day on the South Bank; people running in and out of the fountains; cockroach seen at Giraffe (ick) ; and then up several flights of stairs into the Royal Festival Hall.
"There's no interval," said the girl on our way in, so we bought water and I said to Hubby, "That means we'll get an hour. 70 minutes tops."
How wrong I was.
He's not as young as he was (who is) and on he eventually came, in a suit, and trainers, and backed by a full orchestra, and guest vocalists.
Now given everything that's happening in the news lately - when the strings struck up What the World Needs Now - Is Love, Sweet Love ... I realised that tears were streaming down my face.
And I don't think they stopped streaming for the next more than two hours.
I have realised since that what I didn't understand in my formative years when I dismissed the so-called middle of the road stuff like his, was that the music, the lyrics , were so bloody good.
The sweeping strings and the amazing vocalists nearly broke me:
Anyone who had a heart would take me in his arms and always love me ; why can't you ?
God give me strength.
Do you know the way to San Jose?
If you see me walking down the street, and I start to cry each time we meet ; walk on by.
And all the stars that ever were, are parking cars and pumping gas.
What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin, to burst your bubble. That's what you get for all your trouble. I'll never fall in love again.
Even tracks I didn't think I particularly cared for lifted me; the exuberant What's New Pussycat (sing along people - woah awoah woaooh- or something like that !). And I never knew he had written Arthur's Theme.
Even 24 Hours from Tulsa took on a new meaning for me. I always assumed it was about a guy getting back to his beloved. Nope. Listen again, to how he cheats on her a mere day before they are reunited.
At this point or thereabouts I said to Hubby : I used to play Close To You on my toy piano. And I sobbed a bit more.
Then there was Alfie.
This is a track people know because of the Cilla Black version, or Michael Caine's film, or even Jude Law's.
(Now I'm not a Cilla fan in particular, although I will most certainly watch the bio-pic on ITV - but only because I adore Sheridan Smith.)
One does not simply just become Burt Bacharach.
He wrote endlessly when he started out, alongside the likes of Lieber & Stoller, and Goffin & King. And nearly everything he wrote for 18 months was unsuccessful. And then when he was accepted it was for long forgotten stuff like 'Underneath the Overpass'. Most of his contemporaries couldn't handle the endless rejection and gave up. They couldn't afford to carry on; it wore them down.
But he didn't give up.
So, back to Alfie.
He sat down at his piano, in the extreme heat, and played it, and sang it all by himself.
Then he lost his voice a short while in, started to cough. And he said, no, this is too good a song to ruin so he began again. 'From the top'.
And 'What's it all about, Alfie' became amazingly poignant.
The other defining moment of the evening was of all things - and this was a surprise to me - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.
Now I have traditionally thought this was a horribly cheesy song.
But not that night.
Give it an amazing vocalist and strings ,indeed a full orchestra, and , well, Burt Blinking Bacharach and yes, you have an event on your hands, and ears, and emotions.
After a long long time of feeling lower than low I heard these lyrics & watched Burt absolutely loving the encore:
So - I just did me some talking to the sun - and I said, I didn't like the way it got things done - sleeping on the job!
There's some things I know. The blues they said to greet me won't defeat me.
But - I'm never going to stop the rain by complaining...
And then it was over. Wonderfully over.
It's hard to explain how much this Summer has meant to me. The realisation that my early attempt at playing Close to You on a play piano was actually, strangely, close to connecting with my future husband and what he was listening to as well.
So this concert (or do I call it a 'gig' now ? I don't know) meant such a lot. It was part of my freedom to enjoy life again. It was the knowledge that from that first time Hubby & I went to that Laurel & Hardy screening at King's Cross and laughed so much by the time he walked home he was pretty much Gene Kelly in the rain and I was Debbie Reynolds, we were still as lame as each other.
Love. Sweet love, eh ?
PS. On the way home I Googled how old Burt Bacharach was because we really weren't sure.
He is 86.
A fabulous night and I wish I could re-live it.
Friday 22 August 2014
Monday 28 July 2014
Susie: The Comeback
Hello.
I started barely being able to get out of bed in the morning but forcing myself to do it, for my son, because we needed the money. If you know the 'Spoons' idea , well, I was using up my quota far too early in the day, and needed extras. I was screaming inside when I was at work ; I just wanted to be at home, where I felt safe, tucked away. So the day I was pulled aside and reprimanded for sometimes having shut my laptop down (I work in a noisy corridor) seven minutes before I was supposed to finish I was beside myself. I was speechless. Often I work my lunch (three quarter) hour ( for the record I don't mind). I check work stuff from home. That day I was feeling particularly lost and physically very unwell. But that didn't matter. I was devastated; I am a very conscientious individual.
Then we had a set back just before Christmas (now resolved, no-one was hurt in the making of this by the way - it was just something that meant we had to rethink) . Well when I say we, I mean hubby, my Rock. It was Comic Relief Christmas Jumper Day when that happened and there I was in a silly sweater, (bought for me by my Girl) feeling more lost than ever. We had a service at the local Church that afternoon and I just lost it during one of the Carols. Burst into tears absolutely involuntarily and fought to wave it back in.
I was told at the time - 'This too shall pass'.
It did.
We re-grouped; sorted things out; lifted our heads and decided that life was for living and wasn't going to grind us down.
I'm not saying it was an overnight thing - you don't go from feeling lower than low to sky high in a few days. I've had personal mental struggles aplenty-minor by the lives of many many in this world (thinking of the children in Syria, Palestine, heart breaking). I know it's my struggle ; my failure. I still need to break my superstitious OCD about walking on the right side of things(the left, in Medieval literature is sinistra , or sinister = bad luck !). Or picking a shopping basket in Tesco that has the new knobbly handle and not the old style one.
(Yes, I know...)
But I'm getting there.
If no-one reads this I don't mind. I feel better just putting it together. In a way I hope no-one does read it as I feel a bit embarrassed but it's something I felt I needed to write.
Onwards and upwards. And to paraphrase my favourite sit-com character of all time, I wish us all good mental health.
Remember me ?
Probably not. It's been a long time.
Probably not. It's been a long time.
I want to tell you, it wasn't you, it was me. No, really it was. Big-time.
Before I start this isn't meant to be what my daughter calls a 'Poor Me' essay. I haven't written much if anything in a very long time. I'm only just starting to read again. This is a bit of an outpouring; a clarification in words on the screen of how I've felt. I hate to use the cliche but I think it could be (does air quotes) cathartic.
This last school year, and certainly since Girl left for Uni in late September , has been what I choose to call 'challenging'. It certainly has been for many people I know and I feel wrong at times, thinking how I have struggled when I have see people lose beloved family members, jobs, had health problems - their own and those of their nearest and dearest.
Before I start this isn't meant to be what my daughter calls a 'Poor Me' essay. I haven't written much if anything in a very long time. I'm only just starting to read again. This is a bit of an outpouring; a clarification in words on the screen of how I've felt. I hate to use the cliche but I think it could be (does air quotes) cathartic.
This last school year, and certainly since Girl left for Uni in late September , has been what I choose to call 'challenging'. It certainly has been for many people I know and I feel wrong at times, thinking how I have struggled when I have see people lose beloved family members, jobs, had health problems - their own and those of their nearest and dearest.
By November I had hit absolute rock bottom. My new role at work left me isolated and stressed and completely unsupported by management. This is how I felt, I must say, I should probably have gone to them, it might have made things better. I also should probably have seen my GP but no, Susie is too proud, too stubborn, too embarrassed. She decides to try and self manage the situation.
If I had gone to the GP would he have told me I was depressed (again) ? I can't help but feel that would have given me some sort of validation for the mess in my head. Might have meant I could cope with the stress and anxiety I was feeling.
If I had gone to the GP would he have told me I was depressed (again) ? I can't help but feel that would have given me some sort of validation for the mess in my head. Might have meant I could cope with the stress and anxiety I was feeling.
I knew it was bad when I met up with an old school friend and poor thing, burst into floods of tears in her car on the way back from lunch together. Sorry, B. You had enough of your own stuff going on. You've always been so patient with me.
I started barely being able to get out of bed in the morning but forcing myself to do it, for my son, because we needed the money. If you know the 'Spoons' idea , well, I was using up my quota far too early in the day, and needed extras. I was screaming inside when I was at work ; I just wanted to be at home, where I felt safe, tucked away. So the day I was pulled aside and reprimanded for sometimes having shut my laptop down (I work in a noisy corridor) seven minutes before I was supposed to finish I was beside myself. I was speechless. Often I work my lunch (three quarter) hour ( for the record I don't mind). I check work stuff from home. That day I was feeling particularly lost and physically very unwell. But that didn't matter. I was devastated; I am a very conscientious individual.
Then we had a set back just before Christmas (now resolved, no-one was hurt in the making of this by the way - it was just something that meant we had to rethink) . Well when I say we, I mean hubby, my Rock. It was Comic Relief Christmas Jumper Day when that happened and there I was in a silly sweater, (bought for me by my Girl) feeling more lost than ever. We had a service at the local Church that afternoon and I just lost it during one of the Carols. Burst into tears absolutely involuntarily and fought to wave it back in.
I was told at the time - 'This too shall pass'.
It did.
We re-grouped; sorted things out; lifted our heads and decided that life was for living and wasn't going to grind us down.
I'm not saying it was an overnight thing - you don't go from feeling lower than low to sky high in a few days. I've had personal mental struggles aplenty-minor by the lives of many many in this world (thinking of the children in Syria, Palestine, heart breaking). I know it's my struggle ; my failure. I still need to break my superstitious OCD about walking on the right side of things(the left, in Medieval literature is sinistra , or sinister = bad luck !). Or picking a shopping basket in Tesco that has the new knobbly handle and not the old style one.
(Yes, I know...)
But I'm getting there.
If no-one reads this I don't mind. I feel better just putting it together. In a way I hope no-one does read it as I feel a bit embarrassed but it's something I felt I needed to write.
Onwards and upwards. And to paraphrase my favourite sit-com character of all time, I wish us all good mental health.
Tuesday 29 October 2013
Cooking - the 1931 Way
I have lots of recipes in my kitchen cupboard. I have two A4 ring binders of recipes I compiled myself. I even have Steve Davis' 'Interesting Things To Do With...' series of recipe books (I actually sent off for these) -
Published in 1994, these (free) booklets and I quote - 'can turn your dreams into a glorious techni- colour reality.....If you are snookered by cooking, this book will put you on splendid form.'
Steve's Top Tips include: 'Microwaves are brilliant. You can cook things faster and there's less to wash up. So you've got time for a couple of extra frames.'
Also 'If you spill red wine on your carpet, sprinkle it with salt, remember - it's the 'white' that puts the 'red' away!'
Oh dear !
My Bible -pre Internet - was Delia Smith's Complete Illustrated Cookery Course, bought for me when I got married, by my sister in law ("Updated for the Nineties!"). But as I say, now when I want to be reminded how best to cook a paella, say, I'll just Google it, or go to my binder on the BBC food website.
I also still have - somehow after all these years - my grandmother's cookery book.
1/2 lb butter
1/2 lb castor sugar
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 lb flour
3 eggs
6 ozs. glace cherries
a little grated lemon rind
Method- Beat the butter and sugar to a cream, add each egg separately and beat well in. Sift the flour and baking powder together and stir lightly into the creamed mixture. Lastly, add the cherries and lemon rind. Transfer to a tin lined with greased paper and bake for 2 hours with the "Regulo" at mark 3.
TWO hours ?
But it's the 'Meat' section that I find particularly interesting. It shows us that no matter how much we think we cook 'from scratch' nowadays our Thirties forebears had so much more to do in the kitchen ! Be warned, some of this isn't pretty reading !
Calf's Brain Fritters anyone ? 'Wash the brain in salt water. Skin, put in cold water and bring to the boil. When cold, cut into slices 1/2 inch thick. Dip in egg and breadcrumbs and fry in deep fat.'
Don't fancy that ? Try Calf's Sweetbreads (with green peas) ; just boil , cut in half , breadcrumb them and fry. Yum.
Then we get to Sheep's Head Broth
'Split the skull lengthways and remove the brains carefully; place them in cold salted water. Chop off the nose and well clean the head all over with salt. Remove the tongue. Tie the head together and place in a saucpan with the tongue. Cover with hot water, ad 2 tsp salt, and, as the water boils, skim well. Cook for 1 hour. Wash the brains, tie in muslin and cook in the broth for 20 mins. Cut the vegetables into small pieces, add these with the barley and spice to the broth. Simmer for 2 hours. Season, add parsley and the meat from the head cut into small pieces. The head can be served separately with brain sauce.'
Delicious ...
I don't know how people sourced their poultry in 1931 but it seems the butcher had little input aside of actually selling it to you. All the poultry recipes talk about cutting off heads and necks , and trussing.
Roast Pheasant
Ingredients
1oz butter
1 pheasant
1/2 oz flour
1/2 pint good stock
Bread sauce
Fried breadcrumbs
Method - Cut off the head and neck without removing the feathers, and set aside for decoration when the bird is cooked; the tail feathers also should be preserved. Pluck, singe, draw and truss the bird leaving the feet on. Cover the breast with fat bacon. Put a good piece of butter inside and roast for 1 hour. Just before the end brown the bird after removing the bacon . Stick the feathers in the tail and if the head and neck are used for decoration , put a wire through them and arrange as naturally as possible. Serve with fried breadcrumbs.
Yum.
There's lots more in this elderly treasure - Jugged Hare anyone ?
I certainly have a real appreciation of just how different being a housewife was in the 30s - and why it was (is) certainly, a full time job !
Published in 1994, these (free) booklets and I quote - 'can turn your dreams into a glorious techni- colour reality.....If you are snookered by cooking, this book will put you on splendid form.'
Steve's Top Tips include: 'Microwaves are brilliant. You can cook things faster and there's less to wash up. So you've got time for a couple of extra frames.'
Also 'If you spill red wine on your carpet, sprinkle it with salt, remember - it's the 'white' that puts the 'red' away!'
Oh dear !
My Bible -pre Internet - was Delia Smith's Complete Illustrated Cookery Course, bought for me when I got married, by my sister in law ("Updated for the Nineties!"). But as I say, now when I want to be reminded how best to cook a paella, say, I'll just Google it, or go to my binder on the BBC food website.
I also still have - somehow after all these years - my grandmother's cookery book.
It must have come with the brand new state of the art oven she had installed on her marriage in 1931, when she was barely twenty. (She didn't have my Dad til 1938 , her only child, Dad thinks he was only born because she knew war was coming, possibly, she wasn't a pleasant woman, but that's a whole other story).
It's falling apart now, sadly; it was first published in 1927, by September 1931 it had reached its fourteenth edition, and that's the one I have so it is 82 years old.
It's falling apart now, sadly; it was first published in 1927, by September 1931 it had reached its fourteenth edition, and that's the one I have so it is 82 years old.
The first chapter extols the virtues of the 'RADIATION "New World" Regulo Controlled Gas Cooker'. To be fair, it is very concerned with gas wastage. It has 'Vertico Taps - they do NOT leak!' . There are pages of advice on how to use and how to clean. You see, "Ordinary ovens have two burners , one at each side; the NEW WORLD has only one at the back ! ". We are also reminded of The Importance of The Bottom Flue Outlet -the oven is thus kept free from dust. And that pesky browning shelf you've been using ? Not necessary with the RADIATION 'New World' oven. And don't forget, wipe the oven down every time you use it, while still hot.
Not sure about that one.
Not sure about that one.
When I open the book it defaults to the pages I used as a child back in the Seventies, after Grandma's early death aged just 66. We lived with her and Granddad until I was four and my parents could get a mortgage (it is a fact that until the Eighties and the Thatcher years, mortgages were rationed; you had to wait for one). I was an avid baker as a pre-teen. Buns and sponges, Christmas Cakes and even a baked Alaska aged just 11 that my Mum still waxes lyrical about. The Cherry Cake recipe was my favourite and that is where the book opens. It's a standard recipe:
1/2 lb butter
1/2 lb castor sugar
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 lb flour
3 eggs
6 ozs. glace cherries
a little grated lemon rind
Method- Beat the butter and sugar to a cream, add each egg separately and beat well in. Sift the flour and baking powder together and stir lightly into the creamed mixture. Lastly, add the cherries and lemon rind. Transfer to a tin lined with greased paper and bake for 2 hours with the "Regulo" at mark 3.
TWO hours ?
But it's the 'Meat' section that I find particularly interesting. It shows us that no matter how much we think we cook 'from scratch' nowadays our Thirties forebears had so much more to do in the kitchen ! Be warned, some of this isn't pretty reading !
Calf's Brain Fritters anyone ? 'Wash the brain in salt water. Skin, put in cold water and bring to the boil. When cold, cut into slices 1/2 inch thick. Dip in egg and breadcrumbs and fry in deep fat.'
Don't fancy that ? Try Calf's Sweetbreads (with green peas) ; just boil , cut in half , breadcrumb them and fry. Yum.
Then we get to Sheep's Head Broth
'Split the skull lengthways and remove the brains carefully; place them in cold salted water. Chop off the nose and well clean the head all over with salt. Remove the tongue. Tie the head together and place in a saucpan with the tongue. Cover with hot water, ad 2 tsp salt, and, as the water boils, skim well. Cook for 1 hour. Wash the brains, tie in muslin and cook in the broth for 20 mins. Cut the vegetables into small pieces, add these with the barley and spice to the broth. Simmer for 2 hours. Season, add parsley and the meat from the head cut into small pieces. The head can be served separately with brain sauce.'
Delicious ...
I don't know how people sourced their poultry in 1931 but it seems the butcher had little input aside of actually selling it to you. All the poultry recipes talk about cutting off heads and necks , and trussing.
Roast Pheasant
Ingredients
1oz butter
1 pheasant
1/2 oz flour
1/2 pint good stock
Bread sauce
Fried breadcrumbs
Method - Cut off the head and neck without removing the feathers, and set aside for decoration when the bird is cooked; the tail feathers also should be preserved. Pluck, singe, draw and truss the bird leaving the feet on. Cover the breast with fat bacon. Put a good piece of butter inside and roast for 1 hour. Just before the end brown the bird after removing the bacon . Stick the feathers in the tail and if the head and neck are used for decoration , put a wire through them and arrange as naturally as possible. Serve with fried breadcrumbs.
Yum.
There's lots more in this elderly treasure - Jugged Hare anyone ?
I certainly have a real appreciation of just how different being a housewife was in the 30s - and why it was (is) certainly, a full time job !
Sunday 29 September 2013
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Sunday 22 September 2013
A Letter to Amy
My dearest darlingest ...
You went to Italy, to Spain, all over the place with us, our bella bambina! oh the adventures we had, the fun in St Marks Square, the chicken pox in the Balearics, but oh, how everyone loved you. You have climbed a volcano and swam in Oceans with me, you even phoned me once from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
"What can you see?" I asked.
"Everything," you said.
Which is what I want for you.
You were always a strong, intelligent personality. I have too many tales to tell to praise you. You absorbed information, the alphabet, colours, numbers. But you were a little reticent at Reception stage and your horribly inexperienced teacher didn't recognise your talents. She didn't last long at that school. By Year 2 you achieved Level 4 Literacy SATS. You have always been an amazing writer. Every Christmas I ensure I buy you a page -a - day diary and you write every day and have done so for at least 5 or 6 years now maybe and probably more.
You performed on stage for the first time aged five. I gave you a little bouquet; I will never forget your face when you saw those flowers. Are those for me ?
When it came to Secondary School I instinctively knew you needed to stretch your wings , stretch yourself; I wasn't wrong. Eleven years old and you got a train and got yourself to school miles away. And then you grew, musically. Personally. Made lifelong new friends, and no it wasn't at all easy but my goodness, you were amazing.
Then you needed an operation on your spine. RNOH Stanmore. A six hour scoliosis and kyphosis op. A term off school as a result. Again, you were the better person, even at the age of 14, on morphine, in pain; you taught me how to be be strong.
Fast forward, how many people have been a leading lady in a musical ? Especially a musical they love ? You have. How proud am I ? I would give anything to watch you as Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors one more time.
You are an amazing young woman. So beautiful and so strong and witty and ...and ...
I will miss you very much. I love you more than you know.
I hope you have a wonderful time and just like your first day at nursery school, I know that when we drop you off next Sunday, that you won't look back x
All my love
Moz
To my wonderful Amy.
You are about to leave us for University life. You're going away. Yes, only 50 miles, it could have been further. I am grateful for that. I really am.
You have no idea how much I love and admire you, young lady, you really don't.
You were due to be born on your dad's 30th birthday but there was no way you were ever going to share the limelight, and you rocked up 4 days later, on a sunny October Sunday. You were the first baby the student midwife had ever delivered solo and you were so pretty she cried.
You are about to leave us for University life. You're going away. Yes, only 50 miles, it could have been further. I am grateful for that. I really am.
You have no idea how much I love and admire you, young lady, you really don't.
You were due to be born on your dad's 30th birthday but there was no way you were ever going to share the limelight, and you rocked up 4 days later, on a sunny October Sunday. You were the first baby the student midwife had ever delivered solo and you were so pretty she cried.
I didn't know for sure I was having a girl - they didn't tell you the gender in Redbridge back in those days- but at the same time, I knew I was having a girl. The walls of your room remained the pink they were when we moved in and I only had one name for my unborn baby - there was no doubt to me that you were female: Amy (after Amy from Little Women - much as I admired Jo's stoicism, it was Amy, in my favourite childhood novel first read aged 9 and beloved ever since and to this day, who was the strongest, most successful March girl...I wanted you to have those traits ... you did ... you do).
You went to Italy, to Spain, all over the place with us, our bella bambina! oh the adventures we had, the fun in St Marks Square, the chicken pox in the Balearics, but oh, how everyone loved you. You have climbed a volcano and swam in Oceans with me, you even phoned me once from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
"What can you see?" I asked.
"Everything," you said.
Which is what I want for you.
You were always a strong, intelligent personality. I have too many tales to tell to praise you. You absorbed information, the alphabet, colours, numbers. But you were a little reticent at Reception stage and your horribly inexperienced teacher didn't recognise your talents. She didn't last long at that school. By Year 2 you achieved Level 4 Literacy SATS. You have always been an amazing writer. Every Christmas I ensure I buy you a page -a - day diary and you write every day and have done so for at least 5 or 6 years now maybe and probably more.
You performed on stage for the first time aged five. I gave you a little bouquet; I will never forget your face when you saw those flowers. Are those for me ?
When it came to Secondary School I instinctively knew you needed to stretch your wings , stretch yourself; I wasn't wrong. Eleven years old and you got a train and got yourself to school miles away. And then you grew, musically. Personally. Made lifelong new friends, and no it wasn't at all easy but my goodness, you were amazing.
Then you needed an operation on your spine. RNOH Stanmore. A six hour scoliosis and kyphosis op. A term off school as a result. Again, you were the better person, even at the age of 14, on morphine, in pain; you taught me how to be be strong.
Fast forward, how many people have been a leading lady in a musical ? Especially a musical they love ? You have. How proud am I ? I would give anything to watch you as Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors one more time.
You are an amazing young woman. So beautiful and so strong and witty and ...and ...
I will miss you very much. I love you more than you know.
I hope you have a wonderful time and just like your first day at nursery school, I know that when we drop you off next Sunday, that you won't look back x
All my love
Moz
Monday 2 September 2013
Life Audit
It's the start of a new school year this week. Once the training days (I will be re-educated in CPR and recovery positions by this time tomorrow) are over , the kids will be back and I will have if all goes to plan, a new role as a TA, which I've been tentatively excited about.
I read a couple of blog posts today , initially the lovely
http://plasticrosaries.com/life-audit-september
I read a couple of blog posts today , initially the lovely
http://plasticrosaries.com/life-audit-september
but also her inspiration-
http://www.brocantehome.net/life-audit/
http://www.brocantehome.net/life-audit/
A Life Audit - what a brilliant idea.
So here's mine for September 2013.
TODAY I AM...
...quite frankly in a bit of a tiz. It's back to work tomorrow after just short of 6 weeks off school (I do not get paid for this time as just a lowly TA by the way!).
I am going to miss my time off. The weather's been on the whole, just lovely, and my early morning meetings with 'Frasier' and coffee and a wander to the shop before it gets busy, and just well, having to time to just be on top of the washing and ironing pile for once - it's the freedom I'll miss.
I'm not sure I won't feel like I am having some sort of out of body experience tomorrow when I actually have to concentrate on anything other than what to read on my Kindle in the garden ...
FEELING...
...trepidatious (is that even a word? ) I have this tendency to want to just be home, safe, I've always been that way, I am amazed I made it through Uni to a job to a husband and family to be quite honest ! The idea of going to work not just tomorrow, but the day after that and the day after that until late October without a day off (the weekends are catch up time, not time off!)
At the same time I should be starting a new TA role this term; I don't yet have my timetable but I have been excited at the prospect; I hope things haven't changed in my absence.
I am also feeling nervous and yet cautiously hopeful. We are hoping to re-jig our finances and it is FINGERS CROSSED (I can't say that loudly enough) set to happen on 30th September. One more month of stressing and then...well...things should be better.
So here's mine for September 2013.
TODAY I AM...
...quite frankly in a bit of a tiz. It's back to work tomorrow after just short of 6 weeks off school (I do not get paid for this time as just a lowly TA by the way!).
I am going to miss my time off. The weather's been on the whole, just lovely, and my early morning meetings with 'Frasier' and coffee and a wander to the shop before it gets busy, and just well, having to time to just be on top of the washing and ironing pile for once - it's the freedom I'll miss.
I'm not sure I won't feel like I am having some sort of out of body experience tomorrow when I actually have to concentrate on anything other than what to read on my Kindle in the garden ...
FEELING...
...trepidatious (is that even a word? ) I have this tendency to want to just be home, safe, I've always been that way, I am amazed I made it through Uni to a job to a husband and family to be quite honest ! The idea of going to work not just tomorrow, but the day after that and the day after that until late October without a day off (the weekends are catch up time, not time off!)
At the same time I should be starting a new TA role this term; I don't yet have my timetable but I have been excited at the prospect; I hope things haven't changed in my absence.
I am also feeling nervous and yet cautiously hopeful. We are hoping to re-jig our finances and it is FINGERS CROSSED (I can't say that loudly enough) set to happen on 30th September. One more month of stressing and then...well...things should be better.
READING......looking at a first draft by my amazingly talented friend Ian Ayris
http://www.ianayris.com/
Be warned his stuff isn't politely phrased but he's an amazing writer who has had me in tears (in a good way !) ; highly recommended. And no, he's not paying me ...
While in Tenerife I caught up with an old friend who is thinking of making the Santiago di Compostela pilgrimage next year and in support I am ..well... reading Tim Moore
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spanish-Steps-ebook/dp/B003XVYF0O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378126500&sr=8-1&keywords=spanish+steps
He's my favourite travel writer by, well...miles.
EATING...
...apple crumble. Mum in law brought some cooking apples over and although I am a rubbish dessert cook, I have to say my crumble wasn't too shabby.
While we were away we had many lovely meals out (we chose self catering as although we knew we probably couldn't afford it - and we couldn't! - we love eating out, and we only ever do that on holiday). A highlight was a lunch at a beachside restaurant - gorgeous grilled sardines with Canarian potatoes and fabulous sauces. I can't cook that one to my disappointment... but one meal we had was a pork Mexicana. I have managed to replicate that one successfully at less than £5 for four people. Yay me, eh ?
PLANNING ...
...this is something that teachers do for lessons. I daren't plan ahead, not further than my next group of kids, or payday. Maybe if we get ourselves straight I can do that more?
The nearest I can come to planning is thinking about Girl's departure to Uni on 29 September ...
...but I can't. Not yet.
DREAMING OF...
...a time when money isn't an Issue. And I can treat my family as much as I want. This is on-going.
COVETING & WISHING & DREAMING ...
...see above.
WORKING ON ...
...at home - a few cross stitch projects, and still aiming to not be scared of that sewing machine !!!
At work - I am compiling a dyslexia/phonic handbook with links to a particular piece of software, for my colleagues. This makes me happy.
GRATEFUL FOR ...
...all of the above. My family. And yes, they deserve more from me. But I am trying really, really hard, my lovelies.
Gosh this audit was a good idea !
TOMORROW I WILL BE ...
Positive. No, really. I will be all Carole King - look up 'Beautiful' - I don't think there's an original version on YouTube but the Tapestry LP means a lot to me.
ON MY TO DO LIST THIS MONTH!
Getting to payday without going broke!
Supporting Girl as she leaves home for University
Getting a grip back at work without being completely useless
Thanks for reading this far !
http://www.ianayris.com/
Be warned his stuff isn't politely phrased but he's an amazing writer who has had me in tears (in a good way !) ; highly recommended. And no, he's not paying me ...
While in Tenerife I caught up with an old friend who is thinking of making the Santiago di Compostela pilgrimage next year and in support I am ..well... reading Tim Moore
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spanish-Steps-ebook/dp/B003XVYF0O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378126500&sr=8-1&keywords=spanish+steps
He's my favourite travel writer by, well...miles.
EATING...
...apple crumble. Mum in law brought some cooking apples over and although I am a rubbish dessert cook, I have to say my crumble wasn't too shabby.
While we were away we had many lovely meals out (we chose self catering as although we knew we probably couldn't afford it - and we couldn't! - we love eating out, and we only ever do that on holiday). A highlight was a lunch at a beachside restaurant - gorgeous grilled sardines with Canarian potatoes and fabulous sauces. I can't cook that one to my disappointment... but one meal we had was a pork Mexicana. I have managed to replicate that one successfully at less than £5 for four people. Yay me, eh ?
PLANNING ...
...this is something that teachers do for lessons. I daren't plan ahead, not further than my next group of kids, or payday. Maybe if we get ourselves straight I can do that more?
The nearest I can come to planning is thinking about Girl's departure to Uni on 29 September ...
...but I can't. Not yet.
DREAMING OF...
...a time when money isn't an Issue. And I can treat my family as much as I want. This is on-going.
COVETING & WISHING & DREAMING ...
...see above.
WORKING ON ...
...at home - a few cross stitch projects, and still aiming to not be scared of that sewing machine !!!
At work - I am compiling a dyslexia/phonic handbook with links to a particular piece of software, for my colleagues. This makes me happy.
GRATEFUL FOR ...
...all of the above. My family. And yes, they deserve more from me. But I am trying really, really hard, my lovelies.
Gosh this audit was a good idea !
TOMORROW I WILL BE ...
Positive. No, really. I will be all Carole King - look up 'Beautiful' - I don't think there's an original version on YouTube but the Tapestry LP means a lot to me.
ON MY TO DO LIST THIS MONTH!
Getting to payday without going broke!
Supporting Girl as she leaves home for University
Getting a grip back at work without being completely useless
Thanks for reading this far !
Sunday 1 September 2013
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